Dentist forgets to floss one time, loses license to practice

Anita Harper looked over the wall of achievements and education she had spent her life gathering. Among the plaques was her degree in dental science, now revoked by her former university.

‘I feel let down by the entire dental world,’ Anita told our reporter. ‘I did everything right; I recommended the right toothpastes, overcharged the right people, and I drilled away decay like you wouldn’t believe. All of that’s gone now.’

Last March, under questioning from the Board of Dentists, Anita admitted to forgetting to floss once.

‘I was going to be late for work, so, yeah, I just forgot,’ Anita said. ‘I apologised over and over.’

When asked for comment, the Board of Dentists wrote back in an e-mail, ‘The Board takes hypocrisy very seriously. How can we continue to profit from floss sales if our own aren’t using it?’

Anita thinks the Board should have been more lenient considering her track record. ‘I’ve been nothing but loyal to the Board. I kept quiet about the X-Ray cancer scandal and them keeping tooth regeneration under wraps,’ Anita said.

In response to the question of tooth regeneration, the Board again responded in an e-mail, ‘The Board denies all existence of any tooth regeneration cream and we deny any involvement in the assassination of disgraced dentist Oakland Marsden. But we recommend Anita looks closer at his unfortunate death and the comments that he made shortly before his untimely demise.’

Mr Marsden, 43, was found strangled to death at his Malibu home a few days after speaking to journalists about the potential to completely regrow teeth. Police found a string of mint-flavoured floss wrapped about his throat.