Home Owner’s Association outraged by accusations of ‘authoritarianism’, vow to execute those who oppose them
Supreme Ordained Ruler of Tulsa Home Owner’s Association Ninth Chapter, Keith Destal, promised a swift and merciless response to those that accuse the Association of ‘authoritarianism’.
‘Any and all attempts to slur our organisation and our goal for increased house prices will be extinguished with the power of a trillion suns,’ Mr Destal told reporters whilst slamming his fist upon a lectern carved into the visage of an eagle.
‘Proposition Sixty Six is currently going through the city council chambers. Vote yes on it,’ Mr Destal yelled into the microphone. ‘It gives us the power to gun down those who allow their grass to exceed four inches.’
With distaste upon his lips, Mr Destal continued, ‘Anything over four inches is an affront to those of us who cannot curate grass beyond that length.’