Hell News: Angel and Demon become unlikely couple

Hesediel and Demiurge have made an implausible celebrity couple in the world of the Afterlife.

Hesediel, hailing from the celestial heavens, told us how they met: ‘We were at a cocktail party thrown by JC. It was pretty boring until Demiurge and I both reached for the last pizza wheel.

‘It recoiled at my touch and cursed a snarl,’ Hesedial continued, ‘but there was something sexy in the way that it attempted to gore me that I just knew Demi was my eternal soulmate.’

And what does Demiurge, a data entry assistant at a small Hell-based investment bank, think of this Romeo and Juliet-esque love?

‘I’m trying to convince Hesedial to let me and my friends run a train on her,’ it told us.